The end of the Blonde Blog

There's not much i can say. This blog doesnt really have my heart in it. I feel obligated to post to 5 readers who might not even be reading. The journey was crazy and u didnt get to see me thru it all.I hate giving up but im not giving up- im letting go

I am continueing to blog tho. If u like my writing u can follow me at http://offtheoldcerebello.blogspot.com/ http://parcels4god.blogspot.com/

Thanks for all the support

Finally,

Heather

8-31-2010

Uncertainty

Uncertainty

On sunday i went to muffy's baby shower and had a great time. Today is monday and im starting to wonder if i should stop the blogging.... Its hard to find time with my napping schedule and nobody is reading. I'd hate to quit tho, it'd just prove that blogger really is dead. we'll see how i feel in a couple days.

School was great, men are pissing me off. but its w.e

Ughhhhhh

2' adays

2' adays
In the last days this is whats happened:

• • • Found out I'm only short half a credit to be a senior, so next semester i
      will be a junior
      

    Florida state apps are due in October-EEK!!
    I love fire drills, i run
    into everyone

    
    My applied nutrition2 class seems bearable

    
    I love wedges

    
    If you're not comfortable with a photographer, u take icky pictures

    Senior pictures are about as nerve
    wrecking as the first day
    of senior year

  Trying to blog is hard when I'm always crashing after school and
  homework. doing
  my best.

Threes A crowd

Threes A crowd
Well i seem to be sending out post into an empty abyss, i have 0 new followers; which makes me frown :(

Today was really great, still having problems with my credits. It worries me because its not fair. And I'm really upset and i should be allowed to be upset. Its MY FUTURE

Idk what I'd do with out *hank. Even if he isn't here...

Today's outfit: Strapless belted lace dress, cowboy boots.

Today's Grievance's: Fear.

Hoping for the best....

My First 2 days of Senior year

My First 2 days of Senior year
Hey there bloggers, sorry i havent posted- i have been SWAMPED from escuela (School) :)

My Classes are:
English 12 honors
Algebra 2
Chemistry Honors
Latin 1
--
Applied Nutrition 2
Power Energy Transport
Spanish 3 Honors
Us History
--------------
I'm pretty sure i'm dropping an elective because A future Paleontologist should take Zoology (Honors course) I am definitly dropping Us history despite my best friend being in that class. I need as many Honor courses as i can get. Bring it baby :D


First day was amazing but today, my second day was ehhhhh. I'm supposed to be up by 5:00, i didnt get up till 5:50!!! I have to be outside my house by 6:15!!! So i didnt get to hairspray my hair, and it fall flat; i felt SOOOOOO ugly.

Looking forward to tomorrow; Strapless lace dress with ruffle front, belted and cowboy boots to match. Going for a sultry western look.

Today's griveances: Classes with some one u want to punch in the adams apple.GRRR

Today's outfit: Green halter sundress, silver accents

Ready for bed..I'll try to stay current :)

My last Day of Summer

My last Day of Summer
I cant believe this is my last day of summer. Tomorrow will be my last first day of school ever.Its so crazy, looking back at the last 3 yrs of my life. I will never forget my first day of high school, or kindergarten or middle school. Its crazy to see how far I've came along. It kills me that I'm not ending things in Florida but I've grown up here. It's so scary, next year this time i will be starting college. I don't know how things are going to be when I'm a mom because i cant Handel my own departure. Makes me think how short life truly is, and that's why i always stop to smell the roses.

Today's Grievances: Guess who didn't get the job at Lowe's because she's underage? Hmmm no guesses? Hint: You're reading her blog. Maybe you're not, nobody reads this thing.

Today's outfits: Pencil skirt with ruffle top, black heels.Then blue ruffle one shoulder top with shorts

Amazement baby,Amazement

Amazement baby,Amazement
Ok so let me tell u, let me tell u!!!
Today, august 21st 2010 has been amazing! i went shopping,almost done!Then i get home and i have a job interview!

So yea I'm happy :)

Today's Grievances: Target brand Honey barbecue chips. Too honey, not enough barbecue.

Today's outfit: Blue butterfly sleeve knit tank, shorts, crocodile wedges.

I hope this is a sign of how this year's going to go. If so then I'm stoked!

With heart..

With heart..
So let me tell u about yesterday!!!! I went to the mall with Donnie, chuckie and this boy Kevin i just met for the first time [remember that, its very important!!] I waited AN HOUR!! because they couldn't find me IN FRONT of best buy!!! Oh and it gets better!! One of the first things Kevin said to me "How are you not pregnant?!" SO ignorant. The whole time he was a flat out a$$!But Donnie assured me that it was because it was he wasn't used to be around girls, I don't care- don't treat me like that. I was legit about to beat his a$$

Anyway today i got my ear repericed due to my right one ripping. I got some more school clothes. Tweed shorts, black tank and white skirt. 4 more days!!!!!!

Today's grievance's: Everything...again.

Today's outfit: Floral tank layered with gray tank, Bermuda's.

I'm over this summer k?Put me out on that bus stop, hand me those text books.

Pouring

Pouring

Have u ever woke up in the middle of the night and just shook your head over your life?
-I have
Have you ever wondered where your life was going while you were head some where else?
-I have

And i bet you've walked over the journey many times, just to get a feel for it again; because i have

Today's Grievances: Decisions.

Today's outfit: Skinny jeans, black heels, tank.

Can you make a mess out of something that was jumbled in the first place?

I know a place where the grass is really greener

I know a place where the grass is really greener
If you're reading my blog for the first time, yes my post do really contradict them self lol

I am kinda excited for next week, yes next week i will be a senior!!! I am however still trying to make sure i look smoking hot. Lots of yoga, and running. Not quite done shopping, i need shoes, bags,jewelery and skirts. Plus I'm in dire need of metallic nail polish and my bangs cut! But yea i'm excited :)

Today's Grievances: Slow computers

Today's outfit: undecided, as of this moment sports bra and shorts.

I am camera less for a bit, so I'm posting what i can; it might be old. But hey a model is a model. But that i am not :'( jk I'm getting there

Stress is a 6 letter word

Stress is a 6 letter word
Stress is a 6 letter word, that feels like a ton of bricks. As if i didnt have alot on my plate as it is. Yesterday it all came crashing down on me. Before the only thing i worried about was having decent grades and not getting in trouble. Now its Get a job, save enough money to leave,Get into college, Do great on the SAT's, Get straight A's.... It's all too much for me.

Today's Grievances: Everything

Today's outfit: Shorts, plaid button down, tank and pigtails :)


Today sucks. Life sucks. I'm over it all.

Rainy days

Rainy Days
I dont know about u but it was raining in my kneck of the woods.Cool enough to wear pants :)

Drove around bowie to find where my mother is doing her externship [she's a medical assistant]. Fun but i'm tired, had Honey Chipotle wings-SOOOO GOOD!!!!

Today's Grievance's: Leaving florida and the what could've beens.

Today's Outfit: Skinny jeans&sheer beige ruffle polka dot top [Both charlotte russe]Black under shirt [kohls]

I always second guess myself, and i hate it. Tomarrow is the Last first day of school for my lovelys in Florida.That is why my picture for today is of my last day in Florida.This post is dedicated to them. I love and miss every last inch and being of that pennisula. Keep me in your thoughts,remeber there's only one first day of highschool freshman year, think of when u met me.Cause i'll never forget when i met u..

Settle.

Settle.
I'm growing up, and I've been thinking alot lately. Like who i want in my life, and relationships. I've decided its best i think with my head rather than my heart because my heart likes douche bags; and they don't seem to treat me right [hence douche bag]. Sometimes its better to settle.

I texted *Rob last night. I mentioned him in What i don't get and the V-card.I do love him, and i know he's a player but he's there for me.I don't see anyone else stepping up; that i like back.He's him, and whether were together or not, i'm always going to think of him.I rather we be together.

Today's Grievances: Settling.

Today's outfit: Gray tank and tutu like skirt

So call me blonde on this one but Did u know Junk yards actually exsist outside movies?!? I was blown away. My mom needed some parts so we went to junk yard. I was not dressed for it. There was broken glass everywhere and i was wearing flip flops. Here are some pictures i took:




Overall a fun day. Had tomato basil bisque
_________
Love isnt fun anymore..........&Boys are stupid

Blonde Broading

Blonde Broading
I didnt get to post yesterday, i was busy back to school shopping and took a benedrly which knocked me out. I got A white embroiderd dress and Navy baby doll tank from Charlotte Russe.Freshman year my closet was ALL Charlotte Russe, that seems like ages ago.

Today went to walmart [i hate walmart] and got some snacks.I still do not feel well, i have a horrible headace. That usally means Mother Nature is paying me a visit soon, which i hope because i dont want her to visit the first week of school.

My canker sore is gone!!!

Today's Grievances: The same old things. Need some excitment in my life. I wanna meet some one new.

Today's outfit: Blue demin shorts (kohls), Blue paisley lace top (Kohls) and a fabulous teal scarf that my dad bought me from burlington coat factory. They have the best scarves.

I've been thinking alot. I'm growing up, trying to figure out who i want in my life.Just hope he wants to be in mine too.

You're biggest regret

You're biggest regret
Today i had lunch with my mother and her friends. Then went shopping for back to school clothes. Chambray prairie dress and a plaid shirt dress; gorgeous. They seem to minimize my chest, which i love.

Today's grievance's: Saying you live with no regrets and actually living with no regrets are to very different things.

Today's outfit: Lil' black dress, heart pendant necklace [given by my bestie], Dora Explorer ring and nude wedges. I know what you're thinking-Dora, really? Some kitsch is good. People wear lip rings[right?] and i love Dora :P

I love how a guy can be trying to get with u [not that i care] and then the second some one else comes along, the texts are one worded and eventually dissipate. Shaking my head [as we youngings say]. Its crazy how you can be that fake. I say " look I've met someone, i don't think its best we talk, you're great but i need to do whats best for me.". Maybe its cause that Lil' beating thing, you know gives u a pulse- whats that called? OH YEA A HEART

But don't worry baby, I'll be you're biggest regret

Homemaker or hooker?

Homemaker or hooker?
How is it that i can walk 2 miles in 6in heels but not 2 feet in 2in heels? Am i destined to be a hooker, not a homemaker? I hope not...

I feel sick today and of course after I've tooken a benedrly i put together a great outfit.Like literally 5 minutes after. Drat.

Today's Outfit: Blue ruffle sweetheart dress with an Over sized Knit sleeveless cardigan and silver peep toe pumps. The dress i got at Beals in Florida, for i think around 10 bucks-TOTAL STEAL!!! The pumps, i die for. I purchased them at rugged wear house for 9 dollars. I wore them to home coming, and got tons of compliments on them.I think i want to be buried in these shoes.

Today's Grievances: Saying you don't sext/sex email and people still ask u to do it then blow u off when u say no. No particular person, i get this a lot. I even had to add a BTW to my facebook about me. No means no Hun.

I need to stop texting **Miguel. How can i move on, when I'm drawing him in?

15 more days. I need fashion, but first i need a J-O-B.

"i think you may be on my list of regrets, but i'm not sure yet so lets play this out like a hollywood movies"-Me

"i think you may be on my list of regrets, but I'm not sure yet so lets play this out like a Hollywood movies"-Me

Today i woke feeling like complete and utter crap. My sinuses are acting up and I'm not sure why but I'm guessing my fear of senior year is suspect.

Yesterday i wrote about how i got canker sore medication, and if i didn't then you know now :)
The package says to call poison control if a lot is swallowed. I'm assuming that it means swallow a lot because how can you not swallow oral medication? Anyway I'm pretty sure i swallowed a lot [lol]. It says not to apply for more then seven days unless directed by a doctor so I'm putting it on twice a day for seven days.My canker sore is fairly large [on my standards] so i am swallowing alot. If i die then have the company and my parents read this, maybe they can clear up there warning labels.

Made chicken tortilla soup from scratch, I'd give u the recipe but i think I'd like to pass this down to my future children :)

Today's grievance's: Feeling yucky.

Today's outfit: Mostly PJ's, but eventually resided to booty shorts, knit tank, and plaid mini vest. But I'm probably going change tops and add cowboy boots.

Were you ever upset and just rolled with the moment? Maybe I'm just scared. I don't like not knowing where my life is headed.

"I hope the exit is joyful and i hope never to return"-Freida Kohl

"I hope the exit is joyful and i hope never to return"-Freida Kohl
Last night was Crazy fun. It was just Erin, no fish tacos and no movie. I did get a fudge waffle bowl from DQ. But i wish i wouldn't gotten fish taco, cause I'm dieing for one now.

Today's Grievance's: If there's anything i hate most in this world its being played. I may a b!(h but I'll be dam if a boy makes me out to be one.

Got medicines for canker sore, so nasty! And ma says i don't have a cavity but i know shes wrong. Just wait till my canker sore is gone, then we'll see. DONE WITH TRIAL MEDICINE!! Mom said that since i haven't taken it for a week that its not going to work and she's going to call the doctor [SO HAPPY!]

My quest for being "discovered" as a model has slowly dissipated to a hopeless absis. But i am happy that i have 5 followers! I started with 0, and my first one was my friend, so thank u all for following. But seriously, i want to model.

Today's outfit: Color block dress.

[**Miguel sucks]

17 more days, it finally hit me. Not ready. I need to go back to the beginning of summer and do it all over again.

Pre [its a Prefix]

Pre [its a Prefix]
Mall today with my little rice krispy treat Erin, which when i say I'm hanging with Erin, its never just Erin. It's her, her twin sister, our friend Ashley and sometimes Dani & Stephanie; which i love. I don't think I'll Have time to blog later, so here whats now.

Today's Grievances: Canker sores AND cavities. There needs to be a free dentist, cause I'm about to rip out my 2 back teeth.

So if you're wondering if somethings wrong with your cell, no. He's just ignoring u:
I hate when people ignore u, there needs to be a book on texting etiquette. If you text me and i don't wanna talk; I TELL U!!! Or i make up some excuse, but at least i don't leave u hanging.

Today's outfit: Not sure yet but most likely my sequin skirt look, or maybe something floral, or my Tu-Tu skirt lol. I just wanna look fly :)

Fish tacos today and maybe inception.I always have fun with these girls, and I'm ready to go man hunting. Any Good pick up lines?

Somethings fall apart, i guess we never all together in the first place, huh?

Somethings fall apart, i guess we never all together in the first place, huh?
Today i start with something that hurt. I blogged about *him in some earlier posts [there's just something about summer], *him isn't a good name changed, for now on *him will be known as **Miguel. **Miguel, i hate saying that I've fallen for people but i really did with him. Even though our last "talk" was about figuring it out when he got back and we haven't really talked talked but it never feels that way. Turns out he isn't coming back. He is going away, and i don't know when i will see him again. The last chance that "we" had gone. I always held out hope for this one, even though he played me. "You're the one i want"... And like 5 others too. Right, babe?
I even cried a tad, but I'm over it.I'm hear when you're ready to be a man,but don't be surprised if I'm already gone.

Had lunch with my sister, got some sun. Good day. Didn't go to bed last night. Ready to crash

You cant cry and fall apart over what happened, or what you lost; if it was never really all together in the first place.

The Doctors, Bentobloggy & the excitement

The Doctors, Bentobloggy & the excitement
Today i feel sick, really sick. Vomited. So like any normal teenager i emailed The Doctors [TV show]. Told them about my problems. Hopefully i get some help. They are the experts anyway, and why go to a whole bunch of doctors when there are 4 (5) great ones there?!?!

Somedays a girl just needs her best friend. The fact that shes a thousand miles away and most of what i want to tell her cannot be told in 150 words or less, sucks. I love her tho :)

Bentobloggy- An amazing blog i stumbled upon. Having a giveaway and i'm not even gonna lie; i want to win. I've never won anything. Well once i entered my mom for this contest to win a cruise, she won. But that doesnt count. It's a really great blog, so you should check it out!!

Todays Griveance's: Being sick. We should all be healthy all the time.

Todays outfit (if i get the strength to get out my PJS): Floral romper with heels, flower ring and key necklace :)

If my post today seems empty, i'm sorry.I'm just ready to go to bed.

Even the best fall down sometimes....

Even the best fall down sometimes....
Another day of nothing. Rob* still manage to piss me off even though i hadn't talk to him since yesterday

Today's grievance's: Canker sores...EW

Nobody remembers when they were a baby, from out the womb [or test tube] to crying and having random stranger and hold us; its all a blur. I have a feeling that this is when i realized i was meant to be Unforgettable. My whole life, I'm supposed to be Marylin Monroe [minus the dieing young]. For me "sexting" is a no-no. I'm trying to be a paleontologist/ fashion designer. Cant be having stuff like that out there. My moment of bliss is when I'm getting dressed. That's when i feel like Jesus: I have the whole world at my finger tips, the ability to look like a rock star.

Today's Outfit: Navy sundress, black studded flip flops and my key necklace. Very Bohemian today :)

Only 21 more days, then its the year that counts.. Nervous much???

What i dont get...& the V-card

What i don't get...& the V-card
Today was a boring day but luckily i have lots of stuff to rant about.

What i don't get: Bored, thought I'd text Rob*. What turned from reminiscing to a mess: Should've been expected on my part. I love you; Three words that of all people i cant have heard by this one semi-significant boy. How can you love a girl that you haven't texted or called for months, or that you haven't realized shes deleted you off her facebook.Again. When SHE texts you, you don't seem invested in the conversation. I don't get it. So i had to tell him. Truth is that i really care about him, but i don't love him. We've never been in a relationship. And even as a friend things always drifted to talks about "Us". I used to say i loved Rob* as a friend but i can't even say that now. He Loves me but he doesn't care about me. A big fight then i have to sit and here his sexual conquest in class. I don't forget that kinda stuff.Flipping out because i don't wanna hug u, All the drama. I can get past. The one thing holding me back from him. It doesn't matter, hes gonna keep player playing.. I don't get it one bit.

V-card: Whether religious or not, an act of abstinence or celibacy is there. Mine happens to be religious; in 5th grade "i found Jesus". Religious for a while but not so much any more. Back then i used god as my crutch for survival.Now he's there for support, not as means to live. I made my Purity pledge and I've stuck with it. It's not something I'm willing to give up. Even if i didn't believe in god i don't think I'd want to have pre-martial sex. Its hard, it always hurt me.Guys, they don't get it. Most say they do but down the line, i get cut again. A lot say if it was just sex, not oral they could do that. But apparently no intimacy means no go. I'm still waiting for the guy that doesn't assume a big breasted women means easy. I'm still waiting for the day that my abstinence doesn't shame me....

(Sorry for the long post, i just gotta vent)

Today's Outfit: Pajamas

Today's grievance's: Men.

Too much shaking my head today.Maybe its all the disgrace

*Name has been changed :)

Butterfly kisses

Butterfly kisses
It takes something like getting you're eye brows done to really set things straight.
I've had so much on my mind. Men on my mind. The other night i was looking back at old myspace messages [from when i lived in Florida]. Just going over it made me see how much I've grown up. I always said back then how i wasn't scared of being some one and i really believed that. But looking back, i was. And i let alot of great guys that i really cared about go. Especially Paul*. The most perfect guy for me,even wanted to go out with me but no because he was "too nice". WTF??? i was an idiot. I think i realize that when i started to fall for him, the same time i found out i was moving. That last day, came him just to say goodbye to me and yes i know it sounds cliche and mushy and i hate it but kinda fit perfectly into each others arms. There i said it. Point is, i don't wanna mess things up like i usually do.

Today's grievance's: Mosquito's.

Today's outfit: In the picture, paired with those cowboy boots.Never wore boots with a dress [minus leggings] before, and i liked it :]

God if you're reading, just let me know if I'm doing alright.

Cause When a Heart break no it dont break even....

Cause When a Heart break no it don't break even.....
I just don't get why after knowing some one for so long, u act like this. It really irritates me. Cause you think someones grown up and you think they've change but no; they're still the same. You still have the same issues you did back then. I don't think this is something i can get past. Maybe its time to finally let this go.....

Today's Grievance's: Knowing the smart thing to do. Why cant we live in oblivious bliss? Right? Ignorance is bliss, that crap. Yea why can't i have that. Why do i always have to make the responsible decision?

Today's Outfit: As you can see in my picture; Badgely Mischa blazer, basic white ribbed tank, 579 mini skirt with Pink necklace :)
I am addicted to this blazer, got it for 48 bucks at off neimens. This is def. one of my favorite go to looks

I just wish i had it all figured it out. I'm not counting on my happily ever after, I'm counting on stability. Whatever that means, but i need some of it. So if you're reading- could u pass some along???

And then came the sun.....

And then came the sun.....
Another lazy boring day for me. Went out and started school shopping. Got some amazing Cowboy ankle boots and a Kelly green dress. Both of which i could wear now. But somehow i think I'll manage to wait the 26 days until school starts.

Today's Grievances: Mother nature.Nuff said.

I feel like i have so much to do and I'm scared I'm not gonna have enough time to do it. I have to get a job, save up money, tour colleges, look at apartments, get into college,Get permit, get licesense,get senior pics, finish senior year and the other millions of things i need to do......

Do things get easier as you get older??? Cause right now things kinda bite the big one

I dont want it to be the thing that makes you stay

I don't want it to be the thing that makes you stay

Things that shouldn't keep you here:
1. The ability to make funny "that's what she said" kinda jokes.
2. The fact that No matter who you are, where you are or what decisions u might make- I will always have your back. Always
3.The fact that i am not hideous
4. I'm always down for a fun time.
5. You think you have the ability to change decisions I've made before i met you
6. I'm a wild child

Because I'm a good person, and i have a big heart. I'm silly and i say stuff without thinking, stay because not staying isn't an option.
--
Not feeling well today, gives me alot of time to think. School starts in some 3 weeks. I'd like to have most of it together before then...
Being under the weather, just messes with your head lol

Some Days are just too much for a blonde girl

Some Days are just too much for a blonde girl
First off, If u see a girl walking down the road DO NOT ask her if she needs a ride. I am not getting into a strangers car and i hope everyone reading this is smart enough NOT to get into a strangers car. We don't need to be stealing Actors/actresses jobs, leave the horror stories to the professionals.

Family drama today, which means i had to leave. Walked to the grocery store. Talk to my bestest bud Stephan so it was okay.
Today's Grievances: Rainy days. They put everyone in a bad mood.

I don't like it when people don't think they're pretty. U need to love your body, if you cant then fake it till you make it. Life is too short to be hating your body. Life is too short for most of the crap i put up with. One day you're going to be on your death bed and its going to hit u- did i really have to say that? Did i really have to cry instead of smile? Was it worth working all those hours instead of being with the kids?

Some days, i cant Handel. I cant deal. i smile as much as i can. But "this" is exhausting. Life is tiring.
Every time i start to feel 17, i jump back and I'm 45 again.

Bumblier than a Bumble Bee....

Bumblier than a Bumble Bee....
Even though today Might not be over for some of you, it is for me. I got up at 7am cause lord knows the house would fall apart without me.

Mom: "Where's my hair brush?"

Sister: "I don't know, i don't know, i don't know"

Me: "Ma its on the floor by the desk chair"

Then because i helped i assume the my sister assumed that i was open for guidance
Sis: "What shoes should i wear for work, i cant wear flip flops... I'm just gonna wear sneakers or my converse"
Which responded in me screaming at her that she will get fired for wearing sneakers to a CLOTHING store [a nice one too]. Then frantically trying to get her to wear heels [She is 6'1 and has large feet as a result, not a bad thing].Oh how exciting is my life he he.

Went to the mall with Aaron and Eric, had a blast. Was going to see inception but we lost Eric and by the time we found him we missed the movie and the next showing started at a time Aaron couldn't do. Please tell me why the guy who works at the vapor cigarette's kiosk would ask a 17 year old if they smoke?!?! I think smoking is disguising and even if i was a 17 year old smokey the bear then would i really want to spend all that money to quit?
Was man hunting at the mall.Everyone I'd go for is like 30. And though my cut-off age is up there, i prefer to keep it no more then 27. Maybe all this man drama is god's way of telling me I'm supposed to be a lesbian. Either way I'm happy, but I'd prefer another company

Today's Grievances: The price of food court food!! It's a recession people!!! 6 bucks for one burrito?!?!?! 2 piece chicken with biscuit and fries, drink for 9 bucks?!?! Okay well that last one was not so bad but still. Crazy, i should've walked the half mile across the street and gotten a fish taco from baja fresh.

Today's outfit: That floral motif dress i talked about a couple post ago, i pinned it this time. My key necklace, maroon beaded bracelet and chain like bangle to accent :)
Oh and P.S: that picture of me looks kinda chubby. I'm only 112 pounds, 5'4. My shirt was just riding up lol. I love that picture but yea, no im very skinny.

Only in my world....

Baby Brown Eyes, i need you

Baby Brown Eyes, i need you
Today was the most boring day all summer.Other than messing around on the computer, Martha Stewart and yoga- i didn't do much.
My mom picked me up some dried nectarine's yesterday. They smell like ear wax but there taste is, unpinpointable. But u have to try my little discovery today. Top them with plain ole' sugar and put them into the toaster oven [450] wait until they start heating up then broil them until edges are brown... Well black.The warm but not melted sugar compliments the browned/burned edges of the fruit. Kind tasted like marshmallow's.

Today's Grievance's: DOING NOTHING! I am such a vivacious person that sitting around wasting my life.If my MP3's headphone jack wasn't broken i would've gone for a run. So if anyone is reading this [which i doubt anyone is] Let me know of any tech gadgets that will work! Every time i put headphones in they slip!! All tips will be greatly appreciated

Today's Outfit: Nothing spectacular. Dark blue denim shorts, Paisley/floral type lavender sleeveless blouse with knit bolero. I love this tank! Got it at Wet seal for 12.99 + another shirt for a penny[which i gave to mama]!!!!!!

Whenever Guy 1 fails to say what i need him to say, i run to guy 2. And guy 2 never delivers. Which makes me more upset. But when something really bad happens- i turn to guy one. Cause Hes not a douche, but he can never be all "oh Hun, your great, your beautiful, i love u". I'm not into that mushy romantic crap but when i go thru something its nice to be comforted

I know my picture today isnt very Modeless but i love my dimples :)

I'm kinda over trying to make everyone else proud. I'm more motivated to making MYSELF proud

I have a lot to learn. Just weeding thru the rummage till i figure it all out

I have a lot to learn. Just weeding thru the rummage till i figure it all out
Even though i have only 1 follower, who happens to be my best friend>_< i want to stick with this blogging thing, and my absent blog post yesterday is not cool!
Yesterday was bad. I bottled up all my emotions and it just builds up and eventually i break. Unfortunately my mother reads my blog and i cannot go into detail, but it was a mess. I blew up bad. I know she says i can talk to her bout everything but when ever i try to- i freeze. Some days i sware that only lady gaga understands me. Not in the fact that we are amazing singers [ i cannot sing a note] but how we live and what we've went thru; minus the whole penis speculation. I never went thru that haha but i don't think she should've, people said the same thing when ciara came out so she shouldn't stress it. Anyone trash talk Mama monster they gonna get a earful!
I went to Hibachi today with my parents and sister [never went to Denny's :( ]
There food is amazing. I had lots of fried bananas; my favorite. They didn't have mango's this time, only soft shell crabs and i forgot to get a bowl of miso. Overall a great night. Today i made Eggplant Parmesan (no cheese). It was soooooo good! My grandma loved it, so much she said she was going to buy me more eggplant
Todays Grievances: Creepers. If a girl has not texted u back in over a week: it means shes trying to drop you! I'm talking about the same guy that called me at 11:30 PM. That is the last time i give someone i don't know my number. I don't care if we have 500 mutual friends, never again. Next time i go to Cricket i am blocking his number!!!
Today's outfit: Banned black flouncy skirt with basic lace trimmed grey tank,bangles and key necklace. I love this skirt; i got it at fashion Bug for only 10 bucks tho i think it was originally a beach cover-up but doesn't matter anymore :)
If lady gaga, Kimora lee Simmons, Oprah, Paris Hilton and Martha Stewart could have a child- i would be that baby :D

With love comes.......

With love comes.......
Today my mother and father installed an Air Condition unit in my bedroom. The 107 degree weather kinda made getting it a No-brainer.
Today's Grievances: I hate it when you sleep on your arm. U wake up and its the worst pain ever.I broke my elbow in 7Th grade, i woke up at 10am. Its still killing me! Thank goodness theres Advil
To days outfit: Deep V-neck dress with a garden motif lining the bottom. Crouched backed. Sounds weird but its gorgeous. Its a little too Deep V so i have to wear my Forever 21 Cami [there the best!]
Finally getting some beef for dinner. Cheese steak sub with fries and Chocolate cake. If you're ever in Maryland you have to Go to Romeos- they have the most amazing Chocolate cake. My sweet tooth has been going crazy lately. Going to Denny's with my fam tomorrow. I wonder if they still have All u can eat pancakes. If so, I'm down! If not then Build your own grand slam. I love that place
Still feeling 45. Got to much stress. is it oo early for a midlife crisis?

Only the good Die young....Guidos,Dresses and Pervs.

Only the good Die young....Guido's,Dresses and Pervs.

Today was a typical boring Friday. Talked to a manager and i might have a job! I wanted one in Fashion retail but in a recession money is money.
Today's Grievance's: That creeper that works at the subway in my neighborhood that i ALWAYS try to avoid. Him:

Isn't it a little to hot to be wearing that?

Me: Nah I'm fine Him:

I hope you have nothing on under it.

And then my mom flipping out in response. Which I'm VERY thankful she did. I hate creepers
Today's outfit: Orange maxi dress, very classic. I paired it with black studded flip flops :)
I don't know if it was Jersey Shore that started my infatuation with Guido's, but i have to say there are the new apple of my eye. I saw some hot Guido's today. They were nice.
I am too young to be THIS exhausted.
I said yesterday that i feel 30, forget- i feel 40........45

Maybe, just maybe

Maybe just maybe
I think I've been over thinking this whole blog thing. Maybe that's why i have 0 followers
Today's outfit of choice:Lace romper! I got for only 10 dollars, i love it. There's a picture of it in one of my blog post. I'm going to take tons more. Its simply gorgeous
To days Grievances: Babe. I hate that. Some people don't like certain nicknames/cliches. Babe is mine. Whenever some one calls me it i wanna scream. I'm not your babe. I'm not any ones babe. And even if i was your babe, I'd ask you to call me something else. Like pookie :)
I've been eating veggies like the hungriest vegan. Living out of a toaster oven confides me to ; yams,squash,cream corn,spinach, carrots and lettuce.
I love veggies but i'm determined to get some real food
First last day of school is in: 1 month and 3 days.
I feel 30.

Grow old with me the best is yet to be

Grow old with me The best is yet to be

I don't think any teenager stress about bout back to school fashions like I do. I start getting ready for school- in June. Things at home have kinda been shaky so my plan is to digitally put outfits together then show them to my grandma. Hopefully she'll let me get them. If not i have no idea what I'm going to do.

Fashion is my life.

This is my senior year, i cannot be looking tore up. I wont have it. I have an obsession with heels; but in my town its a No No. When girls at my school wear heels, people look at them weird. Just goes to show u how CLUELESS my town is. If i asked them if they knew about Nanette Lepore, they'd say "Isn't she a sophomore?" ridiculous!

I have been thinking alot about new york. If i could intern for Diane Von furstenberg , my life would be complete. Its so cold there. And I've had FSU and DSC on my mind for a long time. If i got into NYU; i couldn't say no.

I just wanna work in the fashion industry SOOOOO bad.Paleontology is my interest, its the smart decision. But fashion design is my life.

If its meant to be its meant to be. I just need to get discovered by a modeling agency, and a good one.

Life is good. So grow old with me the best is yet to be <3

Adolescence

Adolescence

Youth. Pssssh; youth. Its like just because I'm seventeen my opinion doesn't matter. Today i ponder the fact that indifferently; Your age is Your identity. People say its your sexuality, or the way you look- no its your age. Because i was born in 1993 instead of 1992, I'm less of a person. Because my mother waited to conceive, i have no authority. If you're an adult reading this, your going NAAAAH. But if your a teenager you're going; Preach it my sister! Because its the truth. What, because i cant vote or buy a pack of cigarettes- I'm a baby?

A persons, a person.

I may not know as much as older adults but they shouldn't give people the right to look down upon me. Teenagers as a group are poorly viewed. I know people who have serious mental issues, like depression. Living for them is there biggest battle. But Parents say its just a "phase", something all teenagers go thru. By not listening; you hurt yourselves. When we get older we're going to resent you. We're going to look back and say" She/he kicked me when i was down. Ignored me, like they didn't care. So why should i ". We're going to get to that age were we can just let you go. Well I'm 18, parents didn't really listen to what i emotionally needed, so I'm not going to deal with them anymore.

That's how we see it.

Being 18 and under- it blows. Most of us, we feel trapped. Because last week you let me go to so&so's house and this week you had a fit. Or because you want let me be who i need to be in order to be happy.

Parents don't get it. Nobody does. Y'all say you've been there, but have you?

Did you grow up with texting, Internet and High teenage pregnancy rates? Acting like it doesn't hurt just cause the pain isn't the same. But it still cuts deep. Just because we may not have gone thru what you did, or have had it as bad; DOESNT mean we don't feel. Everyone takes it different. You cant over look pain. It may not be just a phase. So many people go through stuff and hide it. Cause adults, you hear but you don't listen. Oh, its this...AGAIN. Stop blaming it on hormones. Before you know it, we're just not gonna care. We'll say "yes sir,yes ma'am" but we really just have empathy for you. We appreciate the physical so much, the roof over our heads, food in our belly's but the Emotional; never seems fulfilled.

Don't tell us "these are the best days of our lives". We're just rushing thru them so we cant get some say in OUR OWN lives.

Bleh. Adolescence.

P.s:I love my mom

If you don't Know by Now

If you don't know by now....

Today i went to North Beach, which unfortunately still within the state line. There was a sign saying that jellyfish are present. But when i got stung after only being there for maybe 10/15 minute's; i was blown. Things like this ALWAYS happen to me, but you gotta laugh. It was me and my mothers first time there and it was sooooo much fun. I really had a nice time. Afterwards we drove around and i got to see a different side of this HORRIBLE place to live. It kinda reminded me of the Halifax river in Florida, where i used to live. It was nice to pretend i was in home, but not even the wildest of imaginations can make it feel real.

I hate this town.

Being single in the summer kinda sucks. Like before school ended i was all "Psssh relationships in the summer SUCK". But when you look at, you kinda want some one to do all those "Summery" things with.

Untill an amazing guy falls into my lap i'm gonna enjoy my summer.

Well i'm going to try.

Until a man falls into my lap, I'm going to enjoy my summer.

Well I'm going to try.

Where Procrastinating Meets Blonde

When Procrastinating Meets Blonde

How do leap when you haven't even begun to jump? How do you run, when you cant even walk? How do you sing, when your lips are closed?

I'm not playing games anymore, this is my life. If i have to manhandle it to get it the way i want it to be- then i will. If you want to be in my life, thats great but I'm not going to be the one to keep you there; nor put u there in the first place.

I keep putting off running and yoga. I wanna live my life to the fullest. By being stubborn gets me nowhere. I'm eating well and tomorrow I'm going to get up and I'm going to do my yoga and run.

During the summer you can get just down right lazy. I'm leaving for college next year, I'm going to be the one looking out for ME! If i don't get up for class- i cant blame my mom. I cant wait but i need to start getting a head start now. No more procrastinating.

Being a natural born blonde- were stubborn! But were also leaders, and I'm going to lead my own life.

As for boys, they suck. I need some one....New.

A blonde Impailment

Today I feel quite sick; this being said i think some pictures will do more justice today then anything i could muster up. I doubt that many people are reading this, but to the few of you that are- i hope you dont mind, i just dont have the strength or will for some blonde genuis-ness.

The Scrumptious and The Appalling

The Scrumptious and The Appalling

My day has been a synapse of Antonyms. While something absolutely scrumptious would happen and I'd think wow today's gonna be great! Late something horrendous would happen. I'm living in a summer of opposites, i sware. One thing about living in this middle of nowhere state, you always can run into anyone- anywhere. You could walking down the street then you turn around and your best friend is there. It's nice until you run into those unfortunate people. Unfortunate in the sense that you are unfortunate to run into them.

I had lunch at McDonald's with my friends Patrick and Eric. It was lots of fun but i was terribly tired. I got a large fry and a southwest chicken salad.

In my last blog i mentioned *Hank. I met *hank my freshman year of high school [when i lived in Florida]. We met in gym class and he became my first friend in the class. I thought he was cute but i had SOOOO much boy drama going on. I did like him and i knew he like me but things didn't work out. I stopped talking to him because he wouldn't ask me out. We laugh about it now but it wasn't cool! Its funny how 2, almost 3 years later we still "click". Yes he still has certain quality's that drive me insane but he stills...*Hank. But i do have to admit that i have a bit of uncertainty with us. After years of email, myspace,facebook and texting; How will that translate face-to-face? I'm just worried, its like meeting someone that you met on facebook- its either awkward or amazing. I don't want us to fall between the cracks. He really has been one of the few guys to stick. I like him.

Being blonde I'm blunt with my emotions, i can hide how i feel but not my emotions. Life is hard, growing up is challenging, The journey is worth it, and being blonde is how i ride through it. Cause i am who i am, and i am blonde.

Theres just something bout summer

There's just something about summer

Yesterday i decided to finally be a grown up and tell *him how i felt. "Do what you think is best" What the heck am i suppose to do with that?!?! I'm not saying I'd expect him to burst into tears but dammit, i hoped he would at least make an effort to keep me. I basically told I'm that i don't know if i can trust him but I'm crazy about him and that i don't know what to do. He couldn't even say " you know what heather, i know whats best for you- me". Which means i was right about him. It sucks tho, i think he'll always have my heart. I'll always fall after,and for him. But like a lot of things in summer ;it has to end; at some point you have to set what you want from reality.

It rained again and i have to say Ive been a hater of rain but rain in the summer, is absolute bliss. I feel so drained emotionally and physically. Yoga has been a god send. Finding my center for at least 10 minutes is a total relief.

Like a true blonde, i have many conflicting thoughts. I just cant seem to get this growing up thing right. I may feel like a 40 year old with all this stress but do my actions show the maturity that i envision i do?

I need a good nights rest.

Life may be short but its hard. And this little blonde girl just wants to be home with *hank. Home is Florida and *hank is.... to be continued.....

Dreams [not the aspirating kind]

Dreams [Not the Aspirating Kind]

I couldn't sleep again last night, and i mean i really didn't sleep. Went to "go to" bed at 10:00 PM and didn't actually fall asleep till about 2AM. But when i did sleep i had the most peculiar yet realistic dream. Lately I've been having these dreams. So far they've come true. No I'm not saying I'm psychic but i do think there's something about them. Maybe my subconscious is trying to look out for me.

I hate getting mushy and gushy about my feelings: the simple phrase "I feel...." is much foreign to me. Maybe that's the part where I'm not like a blonde. Most blonde's talk all the time, or don't say a single word; there is no middle ground. I talk a lot but i hate talking about how i really feel. So this should be strange: I feel like my life is out of MY control. I feel like i have no say over MY actions. That is the worst kind of feeling to me. I need to be able to say : "oh i have 30 dollars I'm gonna go buy dog". That's just an example but seriously.

I get it I'm only 17 but how am i suppose to figure out who I'm suppose or want to be when every ones making decisions for me?

The disconcerings of summer

Disconcernings of summer.

Last night i made a plan to get up at 4am to go running. I haven't ran in awhile but i really want to make swim team this year. Unfortunately i was woken up by my cell ringing- AT 11:30 PM!!!! Everyone knows its impolite to call after a certain time, and all my friends know i go to bed early. It was a guy and you know boys cant just call u one once- they have to text you to see why you didn't pick or call u again. Knowing this; i had to take out my battery. So my alarm didn't go off this morning and i couldn't go run. I politely told him not to call me that late. Anyway hahaha, today i did some much needed yoga. Yoga always soothes me. I took some pictures with my sisters camera- okay i took A LOT of pictures with her camera. I wish i had the money for head shots. I'd love to model but everywhere i go they tell me i need money for modeling school. Until i get the funds for that, i just have to hope that some one will stumble upon my blog or my facebook or myspace.

I never realized how much half a cup of coffee could fill you up. Its 1:38 and I'm just beginning to eat my first meal, which is very STRANGE for me. Sesame chicken with wild rice [YUM YUM YUM]

Sometimes being blonde is harder then you'd think. I have to make decisions that i don't know if i can make. How can i trust *him when i did that the first time and got hurt? How can i decide weather its worth risking again?

Does anyone know?

To his stomach

Didn't mama always say "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach"?

Today i ponder this thought with the simple fact that in all modesty, I am an amazing cook and baker. I can cook or bake anything. Which i know being a fast learner and being a blonde is a bit of a contradiction. This year hasn't been the best in the man department. People always say to me: Why are you single? And this is the point where i want to assault them. Why, please tell what the need for that question is [ha ha]. I'm only 17 and that question makes me sound broken. Every year there is an overall tone why things didn't work out. This year was about wanting to be put first. Which i totally understand how hard must be for a guy to actually WANT to be with one person and one only. I was the back-up or the fall back. For a while i didn't think i deserved better. That was just self pity though and I'm disappointed in myself for thinking that way. I just want to be put first, I'm putting my standards aside. How are you supposed to be happy when by limiting yourself- your keeping yourself from happiness. I don't care anymore if hes the hottest, or the most buff or has amazing hair. I'm working on being happy in relationships. I think I'm one of those girls who sabotages relationships subconsciously. I always go after guys that don't live in MD or that i know i cant have. I love being single, i love it. I've always been a humongous flirt and being in a relationship kinda takes that away.Living as a single girl, its easy but when you think about being a taken girl; it depresses you. Being Blonde & single is different then just being single. We're stereotyped as the "bombshell" and when that bombshell is solo- it makes you wonder. We're looked as being the party girl, the ditsy girl, the slutty girl. Why cant we ever be just a girl? You don't have to be older to see that its transparent, to even us 17 year olds.