Grow old with me the best is yet to be

Grow old with me The best is yet to be

I don't think any teenager stress about bout back to school fashions like I do. I start getting ready for school- in June. Things at home have kinda been shaky so my plan is to digitally put outfits together then show them to my grandma. Hopefully she'll let me get them. If not i have no idea what I'm going to do.

Fashion is my life.

This is my senior year, i cannot be looking tore up. I wont have it. I have an obsession with heels; but in my town its a No No. When girls at my school wear heels, people look at them weird. Just goes to show u how CLUELESS my town is. If i asked them if they knew about Nanette Lepore, they'd say "Isn't she a sophomore?" ridiculous!

I have been thinking alot about new york. If i could intern for Diane Von furstenberg , my life would be complete. Its so cold there. And I've had FSU and DSC on my mind for a long time. If i got into NYU; i couldn't say no.

I just wanna work in the fashion industry SOOOOO bad.Paleontology is my interest, its the smart decision. But fashion design is my life.

If its meant to be its meant to be. I just need to get discovered by a modeling agency, and a good one.

Life is good. So grow old with me the best is yet to be <3

If you don't Know by Now

If you don't know by now....

Today i went to North Beach, which unfortunately still within the state line. There was a sign saying that jellyfish are present. But when i got stung after only being there for maybe 10/15 minute's; i was blown. Things like this ALWAYS happen to me, but you gotta laugh. It was me and my mothers first time there and it was sooooo much fun. I really had a nice time. Afterwards we drove around and i got to see a different side of this HORRIBLE place to live. It kinda reminded me of the Halifax river in Florida, where i used to live. It was nice to pretend i was in home, but not even the wildest of imaginations can make it feel real.

I hate this town.

Being single in the summer kinda sucks. Like before school ended i was all "Psssh relationships in the summer SUCK". But when you look at, you kinda want some one to do all those "Summery" things with.

Untill an amazing guy falls into my lap i'm gonna enjoy my summer.

Well i'm going to try.

Until a man falls into my lap, I'm going to enjoy my summer.

Well I'm going to try.

Where Procrastinating Meets Blonde

When Procrastinating Meets Blonde

How do leap when you haven't even begun to jump? How do you run, when you cant even walk? How do you sing, when your lips are closed?

I'm not playing games anymore, this is my life. If i have to manhandle it to get it the way i want it to be- then i will. If you want to be in my life, thats great but I'm not going to be the one to keep you there; nor put u there in the first place.

I keep putting off running and yoga. I wanna live my life to the fullest. By being stubborn gets me nowhere. I'm eating well and tomorrow I'm going to get up and I'm going to do my yoga and run.

During the summer you can get just down right lazy. I'm leaving for college next year, I'm going to be the one looking out for ME! If i don't get up for class- i cant blame my mom. I cant wait but i need to start getting a head start now. No more procrastinating.

Being a natural born blonde- were stubborn! But were also leaders, and I'm going to lead my own life.

As for boys, they suck. I need some one....New.

A blonde Impailment

Today I feel quite sick; this being said i think some pictures will do more justice today then anything i could muster up. I doubt that many people are reading this, but to the few of you that are- i hope you dont mind, i just dont have the strength or will for some blonde genuis-ness.

The Scrumptious and The Appalling

The Scrumptious and The Appalling

My day has been a synapse of Antonyms. While something absolutely scrumptious would happen and I'd think wow today's gonna be great! Late something horrendous would happen. I'm living in a summer of opposites, i sware. One thing about living in this middle of nowhere state, you always can run into anyone- anywhere. You could walking down the street then you turn around and your best friend is there. It's nice until you run into those unfortunate people. Unfortunate in the sense that you are unfortunate to run into them.

I had lunch at McDonald's with my friends Patrick and Eric. It was lots of fun but i was terribly tired. I got a large fry and a southwest chicken salad.

In my last blog i mentioned *Hank. I met *hank my freshman year of high school [when i lived in Florida]. We met in gym class and he became my first friend in the class. I thought he was cute but i had SOOOO much boy drama going on. I did like him and i knew he like me but things didn't work out. I stopped talking to him because he wouldn't ask me out. We laugh about it now but it wasn't cool! Its funny how 2, almost 3 years later we still "click". Yes he still has certain quality's that drive me insane but he stills...*Hank. But i do have to admit that i have a bit of uncertainty with us. After years of email, myspace,facebook and texting; How will that translate face-to-face? I'm just worried, its like meeting someone that you met on facebook- its either awkward or amazing. I don't want us to fall between the cracks. He really has been one of the few guys to stick. I like him.

Being blonde I'm blunt with my emotions, i can hide how i feel but not my emotions. Life is hard, growing up is challenging, The journey is worth it, and being blonde is how i ride through it. Cause i am who i am, and i am blonde.

Theres just something bout summer

There's just something about summer

Yesterday i decided to finally be a grown up and tell *him how i felt. "Do what you think is best" What the heck am i suppose to do with that?!?! I'm not saying I'd expect him to burst into tears but dammit, i hoped he would at least make an effort to keep me. I basically told I'm that i don't know if i can trust him but I'm crazy about him and that i don't know what to do. He couldn't even say " you know what heather, i know whats best for you- me". Which means i was right about him. It sucks tho, i think he'll always have my heart. I'll always fall after,and for him. But like a lot of things in summer ;it has to end; at some point you have to set what you want from reality.

It rained again and i have to say Ive been a hater of rain but rain in the summer, is absolute bliss. I feel so drained emotionally and physically. Yoga has been a god send. Finding my center for at least 10 minutes is a total relief.

Like a true blonde, i have many conflicting thoughts. I just cant seem to get this growing up thing right. I may feel like a 40 year old with all this stress but do my actions show the maturity that i envision i do?

I need a good nights rest.

Life may be short but its hard. And this little blonde girl just wants to be home with *hank. Home is Florida and *hank is.... to be continued.....

Dreams [not the aspirating kind]

Dreams [Not the Aspirating Kind]

I couldn't sleep again last night, and i mean i really didn't sleep. Went to "go to" bed at 10:00 PM and didn't actually fall asleep till about 2AM. But when i did sleep i had the most peculiar yet realistic dream. Lately I've been having these dreams. So far they've come true. No I'm not saying I'm psychic but i do think there's something about them. Maybe my subconscious is trying to look out for me.

I hate getting mushy and gushy about my feelings: the simple phrase "I feel...." is much foreign to me. Maybe that's the part where I'm not like a blonde. Most blonde's talk all the time, or don't say a single word; there is no middle ground. I talk a lot but i hate talking about how i really feel. So this should be strange: I feel like my life is out of MY control. I feel like i have no say over MY actions. That is the worst kind of feeling to me. I need to be able to say : "oh i have 30 dollars I'm gonna go buy dog". That's just an example but seriously.

I get it I'm only 17 but how am i suppose to figure out who I'm suppose or want to be when every ones making decisions for me?

To his stomach

Didn't mama always say "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach"?

Today i ponder this thought with the simple fact that in all modesty, I am an amazing cook and baker. I can cook or bake anything. Which i know being a fast learner and being a blonde is a bit of a contradiction. This year hasn't been the best in the man department. People always say to me: Why are you single? And this is the point where i want to assault them. Why, please tell what the need for that question is [ha ha]. I'm only 17 and that question makes me sound broken. Every year there is an overall tone why things didn't work out. This year was about wanting to be put first. Which i totally understand how hard must be for a guy to actually WANT to be with one person and one only. I was the back-up or the fall back. For a while i didn't think i deserved better. That was just self pity though and I'm disappointed in myself for thinking that way. I just want to be put first, I'm putting my standards aside. How are you supposed to be happy when by limiting yourself- your keeping yourself from happiness. I don't care anymore if hes the hottest, or the most buff or has amazing hair. I'm working on being happy in relationships. I think I'm one of those girls who sabotages relationships subconsciously. I always go after guys that don't live in MD or that i know i cant have. I love being single, i love it. I've always been a humongous flirt and being in a relationship kinda takes that away.Living as a single girl, its easy but when you think about being a taken girl; it depresses you. Being Blonde & single is different then just being single. We're stereotyped as the "bombshell" and when that bombshell is solo- it makes you wonder. We're looked as being the party girl, the ditsy girl, the slutty girl. Why cant we ever be just a girl? You don't have to be older to see that its transparent, to even us 17 year olds.