Settle.

Settle.
I'm growing up, and I've been thinking alot lately. Like who i want in my life, and relationships. I've decided its best i think with my head rather than my heart because my heart likes douche bags; and they don't seem to treat me right [hence douche bag]. Sometimes its better to settle.

I texted *Rob last night. I mentioned him in What i don't get and the V-card.I do love him, and i know he's a player but he's there for me.I don't see anyone else stepping up; that i like back.He's him, and whether were together or not, i'm always going to think of him.I rather we be together.

Today's Grievances: Settling.

Today's outfit: Gray tank and tutu like skirt

So call me blonde on this one but Did u know Junk yards actually exsist outside movies?!? I was blown away. My mom needed some parts so we went to junk yard. I was not dressed for it. There was broken glass everywhere and i was wearing flip flops. Here are some pictures i took:




Overall a fun day. Had tomato basil bisque
_________
Love isnt fun anymore..........&Boys are stupid

What i dont get...& the V-card

What i don't get...& the V-card
Today was a boring day but luckily i have lots of stuff to rant about.

What i don't get: Bored, thought I'd text Rob*. What turned from reminiscing to a mess: Should've been expected on my part. I love you; Three words that of all people i cant have heard by this one semi-significant boy. How can you love a girl that you haven't texted or called for months, or that you haven't realized shes deleted you off her facebook.Again. When SHE texts you, you don't seem invested in the conversation. I don't get it. So i had to tell him. Truth is that i really care about him, but i don't love him. We've never been in a relationship. And even as a friend things always drifted to talks about "Us". I used to say i loved Rob* as a friend but i can't even say that now. He Loves me but he doesn't care about me. A big fight then i have to sit and here his sexual conquest in class. I don't forget that kinda stuff.Flipping out because i don't wanna hug u, All the drama. I can get past. The one thing holding me back from him. It doesn't matter, hes gonna keep player playing.. I don't get it one bit.

V-card: Whether religious or not, an act of abstinence or celibacy is there. Mine happens to be religious; in 5th grade "i found Jesus". Religious for a while but not so much any more. Back then i used god as my crutch for survival.Now he's there for support, not as means to live. I made my Purity pledge and I've stuck with it. It's not something I'm willing to give up. Even if i didn't believe in god i don't think I'd want to have pre-martial sex. Its hard, it always hurt me.Guys, they don't get it. Most say they do but down the line, i get cut again. A lot say if it was just sex, not oral they could do that. But apparently no intimacy means no go. I'm still waiting for the guy that doesn't assume a big breasted women means easy. I'm still waiting for the day that my abstinence doesn't shame me....

(Sorry for the long post, i just gotta vent)

Today's Outfit: Pajamas

Today's grievance's: Men.

Too much shaking my head today.Maybe its all the disgrace

*Name has been changed :)