And then came the sun.....

And then came the sun.....
Another lazy boring day for me. Went out and started school shopping. Got some amazing Cowboy ankle boots and a Kelly green dress. Both of which i could wear now. But somehow i think I'll manage to wait the 26 days until school starts.

Today's Grievances: Mother nature.Nuff said.

I feel like i have so much to do and I'm scared I'm not gonna have enough time to do it. I have to get a job, save up money, tour colleges, look at apartments, get into college,Get permit, get licesense,get senior pics, finish senior year and the other millions of things i need to do......

Do things get easier as you get older??? Cause right now things kinda bite the big one

I dont want it to be the thing that makes you stay

I don't want it to be the thing that makes you stay

Things that shouldn't keep you here:
1. The ability to make funny "that's what she said" kinda jokes.
2. The fact that No matter who you are, where you are or what decisions u might make- I will always have your back. Always
3.The fact that i am not hideous
4. I'm always down for a fun time.
5. You think you have the ability to change decisions I've made before i met you
6. I'm a wild child

Because I'm a good person, and i have a big heart. I'm silly and i say stuff without thinking, stay because not staying isn't an option.
--
Not feeling well today, gives me alot of time to think. School starts in some 3 weeks. I'd like to have most of it together before then...
Being under the weather, just messes with your head lol

Some Days are just too much for a blonde girl

Some Days are just too much for a blonde girl
First off, If u see a girl walking down the road DO NOT ask her if she needs a ride. I am not getting into a strangers car and i hope everyone reading this is smart enough NOT to get into a strangers car. We don't need to be stealing Actors/actresses jobs, leave the horror stories to the professionals.

Family drama today, which means i had to leave. Walked to the grocery store. Talk to my bestest bud Stephan so it was okay.
Today's Grievances: Rainy days. They put everyone in a bad mood.

I don't like it when people don't think they're pretty. U need to love your body, if you cant then fake it till you make it. Life is too short to be hating your body. Life is too short for most of the crap i put up with. One day you're going to be on your death bed and its going to hit u- did i really have to say that? Did i really have to cry instead of smile? Was it worth working all those hours instead of being with the kids?

Some days, i cant Handel. I cant deal. i smile as much as i can. But "this" is exhausting. Life is tiring.
Every time i start to feel 17, i jump back and I'm 45 again.

Bumblier than a Bumble Bee....

Bumblier than a Bumble Bee....
Even though today Might not be over for some of you, it is for me. I got up at 7am cause lord knows the house would fall apart without me.

Mom: "Where's my hair brush?"

Sister: "I don't know, i don't know, i don't know"

Me: "Ma its on the floor by the desk chair"

Then because i helped i assume the my sister assumed that i was open for guidance
Sis: "What shoes should i wear for work, i cant wear flip flops... I'm just gonna wear sneakers or my converse"
Which responded in me screaming at her that she will get fired for wearing sneakers to a CLOTHING store [a nice one too]. Then frantically trying to get her to wear heels [She is 6'1 and has large feet as a result, not a bad thing].Oh how exciting is my life he he.

Went to the mall with Aaron and Eric, had a blast. Was going to see inception but we lost Eric and by the time we found him we missed the movie and the next showing started at a time Aaron couldn't do. Please tell me why the guy who works at the vapor cigarette's kiosk would ask a 17 year old if they smoke?!?! I think smoking is disguising and even if i was a 17 year old smokey the bear then would i really want to spend all that money to quit?
Was man hunting at the mall.Everyone I'd go for is like 30. And though my cut-off age is up there, i prefer to keep it no more then 27. Maybe all this man drama is god's way of telling me I'm supposed to be a lesbian. Either way I'm happy, but I'd prefer another company

Today's Grievances: The price of food court food!! It's a recession people!!! 6 bucks for one burrito?!?!?! 2 piece chicken with biscuit and fries, drink for 9 bucks?!?! Okay well that last one was not so bad but still. Crazy, i should've walked the half mile across the street and gotten a fish taco from baja fresh.

Today's outfit: That floral motif dress i talked about a couple post ago, i pinned it this time. My key necklace, maroon beaded bracelet and chain like bangle to accent :)
Oh and P.S: that picture of me looks kinda chubby. I'm only 112 pounds, 5'4. My shirt was just riding up lol. I love that picture but yea, no im very skinny.

Only in my world....

Baby Brown Eyes, i need you

Baby Brown Eyes, i need you
Today was the most boring day all summer.Other than messing around on the computer, Martha Stewart and yoga- i didn't do much.
My mom picked me up some dried nectarine's yesterday. They smell like ear wax but there taste is, unpinpointable. But u have to try my little discovery today. Top them with plain ole' sugar and put them into the toaster oven [450] wait until they start heating up then broil them until edges are brown... Well black.The warm but not melted sugar compliments the browned/burned edges of the fruit. Kind tasted like marshmallow's.

Today's Grievance's: DOING NOTHING! I am such a vivacious person that sitting around wasting my life.If my MP3's headphone jack wasn't broken i would've gone for a run. So if anyone is reading this [which i doubt anyone is] Let me know of any tech gadgets that will work! Every time i put headphones in they slip!! All tips will be greatly appreciated

Today's Outfit: Nothing spectacular. Dark blue denim shorts, Paisley/floral type lavender sleeveless blouse with knit bolero. I love this tank! Got it at Wet seal for 12.99 + another shirt for a penny[which i gave to mama]!!!!!!

Whenever Guy 1 fails to say what i need him to say, i run to guy 2. And guy 2 never delivers. Which makes me more upset. But when something really bad happens- i turn to guy one. Cause Hes not a douche, but he can never be all "oh Hun, your great, your beautiful, i love u". I'm not into that mushy romantic crap but when i go thru something its nice to be comforted

I know my picture today isnt very Modeless but i love my dimples :)

I'm kinda over trying to make everyone else proud. I'm more motivated to making MYSELF proud

I have a lot to learn. Just weeding thru the rummage till i figure it all out

I have a lot to learn. Just weeding thru the rummage till i figure it all out
Even though i have only 1 follower, who happens to be my best friend>_< i want to stick with this blogging thing, and my absent blog post yesterday is not cool!
Yesterday was bad. I bottled up all my emotions and it just builds up and eventually i break. Unfortunately my mother reads my blog and i cannot go into detail, but it was a mess. I blew up bad. I know she says i can talk to her bout everything but when ever i try to- i freeze. Some days i sware that only lady gaga understands me. Not in the fact that we are amazing singers [ i cannot sing a note] but how we live and what we've went thru; minus the whole penis speculation. I never went thru that haha but i don't think she should've, people said the same thing when ciara came out so she shouldn't stress it. Anyone trash talk Mama monster they gonna get a earful!
I went to Hibachi today with my parents and sister [never went to Denny's :( ]
There food is amazing. I had lots of fried bananas; my favorite. They didn't have mango's this time, only soft shell crabs and i forgot to get a bowl of miso. Overall a great night. Today i made Eggplant Parmesan (no cheese). It was soooooo good! My grandma loved it, so much she said she was going to buy me more eggplant
Todays Grievances: Creepers. If a girl has not texted u back in over a week: it means shes trying to drop you! I'm talking about the same guy that called me at 11:30 PM. That is the last time i give someone i don't know my number. I don't care if we have 500 mutual friends, never again. Next time i go to Cricket i am blocking his number!!!
Today's outfit: Banned black flouncy skirt with basic lace trimmed grey tank,bangles and key necklace. I love this skirt; i got it at fashion Bug for only 10 bucks tho i think it was originally a beach cover-up but doesn't matter anymore :)
If lady gaga, Kimora lee Simmons, Oprah, Paris Hilton and Martha Stewart could have a child- i would be that baby :D

With love comes.......

With love comes.......
Today my mother and father installed an Air Condition unit in my bedroom. The 107 degree weather kinda made getting it a No-brainer.
Today's Grievances: I hate it when you sleep on your arm. U wake up and its the worst pain ever.I broke my elbow in 7Th grade, i woke up at 10am. Its still killing me! Thank goodness theres Advil
To days outfit: Deep V-neck dress with a garden motif lining the bottom. Crouched backed. Sounds weird but its gorgeous. Its a little too Deep V so i have to wear my Forever 21 Cami [there the best!]
Finally getting some beef for dinner. Cheese steak sub with fries and Chocolate cake. If you're ever in Maryland you have to Go to Romeos- they have the most amazing Chocolate cake. My sweet tooth has been going crazy lately. Going to Denny's with my fam tomorrow. I wonder if they still have All u can eat pancakes. If so, I'm down! If not then Build your own grand slam. I love that place
Still feeling 45. Got to much stress. is it oo early for a midlife crisis?

Only the good Die young....Guidos,Dresses and Pervs.

Only the good Die young....Guido's,Dresses and Pervs.

Today was a typical boring Friday. Talked to a manager and i might have a job! I wanted one in Fashion retail but in a recession money is money.
Today's Grievance's: That creeper that works at the subway in my neighborhood that i ALWAYS try to avoid. Him:

Isn't it a little to hot to be wearing that?

Me: Nah I'm fine Him:

I hope you have nothing on under it.

And then my mom flipping out in response. Which I'm VERY thankful she did. I hate creepers
Today's outfit: Orange maxi dress, very classic. I paired it with black studded flip flops :)
I don't know if it was Jersey Shore that started my infatuation with Guido's, but i have to say there are the new apple of my eye. I saw some hot Guido's today. They were nice.
I am too young to be THIS exhausted.
I said yesterday that i feel 30, forget- i feel 40........45

Maybe, just maybe

Maybe just maybe
I think I've been over thinking this whole blog thing. Maybe that's why i have 0 followers
Today's outfit of choice:Lace romper! I got for only 10 dollars, i love it. There's a picture of it in one of my blog post. I'm going to take tons more. Its simply gorgeous
To days Grievances: Babe. I hate that. Some people don't like certain nicknames/cliches. Babe is mine. Whenever some one calls me it i wanna scream. I'm not your babe. I'm not any ones babe. And even if i was your babe, I'd ask you to call me something else. Like pookie :)
I've been eating veggies like the hungriest vegan. Living out of a toaster oven confides me to ; yams,squash,cream corn,spinach, carrots and lettuce.
I love veggies but i'm determined to get some real food
First last day of school is in: 1 month and 3 days.
I feel 30.

Grow old with me the best is yet to be

Grow old with me The best is yet to be

I don't think any teenager stress about bout back to school fashions like I do. I start getting ready for school- in June. Things at home have kinda been shaky so my plan is to digitally put outfits together then show them to my grandma. Hopefully she'll let me get them. If not i have no idea what I'm going to do.

Fashion is my life.

This is my senior year, i cannot be looking tore up. I wont have it. I have an obsession with heels; but in my town its a No No. When girls at my school wear heels, people look at them weird. Just goes to show u how CLUELESS my town is. If i asked them if they knew about Nanette Lepore, they'd say "Isn't she a sophomore?" ridiculous!

I have been thinking alot about new york. If i could intern for Diane Von furstenberg , my life would be complete. Its so cold there. And I've had FSU and DSC on my mind for a long time. If i got into NYU; i couldn't say no.

I just wanna work in the fashion industry SOOOOO bad.Paleontology is my interest, its the smart decision. But fashion design is my life.

If its meant to be its meant to be. I just need to get discovered by a modeling agency, and a good one.

Life is good. So grow old with me the best is yet to be <3

Adolescence

Adolescence

Youth. Pssssh; youth. Its like just because I'm seventeen my opinion doesn't matter. Today i ponder the fact that indifferently; Your age is Your identity. People say its your sexuality, or the way you look- no its your age. Because i was born in 1993 instead of 1992, I'm less of a person. Because my mother waited to conceive, i have no authority. If you're an adult reading this, your going NAAAAH. But if your a teenager you're going; Preach it my sister! Because its the truth. What, because i cant vote or buy a pack of cigarettes- I'm a baby?

A persons, a person.

I may not know as much as older adults but they shouldn't give people the right to look down upon me. Teenagers as a group are poorly viewed. I know people who have serious mental issues, like depression. Living for them is there biggest battle. But Parents say its just a "phase", something all teenagers go thru. By not listening; you hurt yourselves. When we get older we're going to resent you. We're going to look back and say" She/he kicked me when i was down. Ignored me, like they didn't care. So why should i ". We're going to get to that age were we can just let you go. Well I'm 18, parents didn't really listen to what i emotionally needed, so I'm not going to deal with them anymore.

That's how we see it.

Being 18 and under- it blows. Most of us, we feel trapped. Because last week you let me go to so&so's house and this week you had a fit. Or because you want let me be who i need to be in order to be happy.

Parents don't get it. Nobody does. Y'all say you've been there, but have you?

Did you grow up with texting, Internet and High teenage pregnancy rates? Acting like it doesn't hurt just cause the pain isn't the same. But it still cuts deep. Just because we may not have gone thru what you did, or have had it as bad; DOESNT mean we don't feel. Everyone takes it different. You cant over look pain. It may not be just a phase. So many people go through stuff and hide it. Cause adults, you hear but you don't listen. Oh, its this...AGAIN. Stop blaming it on hormones. Before you know it, we're just not gonna care. We'll say "yes sir,yes ma'am" but we really just have empathy for you. We appreciate the physical so much, the roof over our heads, food in our belly's but the Emotional; never seems fulfilled.

Don't tell us "these are the best days of our lives". We're just rushing thru them so we cant get some say in OUR OWN lives.

Bleh. Adolescence.

P.s:I love my mom

If you don't Know by Now

If you don't know by now....

Today i went to North Beach, which unfortunately still within the state line. There was a sign saying that jellyfish are present. But when i got stung after only being there for maybe 10/15 minute's; i was blown. Things like this ALWAYS happen to me, but you gotta laugh. It was me and my mothers first time there and it was sooooo much fun. I really had a nice time. Afterwards we drove around and i got to see a different side of this HORRIBLE place to live. It kinda reminded me of the Halifax river in Florida, where i used to live. It was nice to pretend i was in home, but not even the wildest of imaginations can make it feel real.

I hate this town.

Being single in the summer kinda sucks. Like before school ended i was all "Psssh relationships in the summer SUCK". But when you look at, you kinda want some one to do all those "Summery" things with.

Untill an amazing guy falls into my lap i'm gonna enjoy my summer.

Well i'm going to try.

Until a man falls into my lap, I'm going to enjoy my summer.

Well I'm going to try.

Where Procrastinating Meets Blonde

When Procrastinating Meets Blonde

How do leap when you haven't even begun to jump? How do you run, when you cant even walk? How do you sing, when your lips are closed?

I'm not playing games anymore, this is my life. If i have to manhandle it to get it the way i want it to be- then i will. If you want to be in my life, thats great but I'm not going to be the one to keep you there; nor put u there in the first place.

I keep putting off running and yoga. I wanna live my life to the fullest. By being stubborn gets me nowhere. I'm eating well and tomorrow I'm going to get up and I'm going to do my yoga and run.

During the summer you can get just down right lazy. I'm leaving for college next year, I'm going to be the one looking out for ME! If i don't get up for class- i cant blame my mom. I cant wait but i need to start getting a head start now. No more procrastinating.

Being a natural born blonde- were stubborn! But were also leaders, and I'm going to lead my own life.

As for boys, they suck. I need some one....New.

A blonde Impailment

Today I feel quite sick; this being said i think some pictures will do more justice today then anything i could muster up. I doubt that many people are reading this, but to the few of you that are- i hope you dont mind, i just dont have the strength or will for some blonde genuis-ness.

The Scrumptious and The Appalling

The Scrumptious and The Appalling

My day has been a synapse of Antonyms. While something absolutely scrumptious would happen and I'd think wow today's gonna be great! Late something horrendous would happen. I'm living in a summer of opposites, i sware. One thing about living in this middle of nowhere state, you always can run into anyone- anywhere. You could walking down the street then you turn around and your best friend is there. It's nice until you run into those unfortunate people. Unfortunate in the sense that you are unfortunate to run into them.

I had lunch at McDonald's with my friends Patrick and Eric. It was lots of fun but i was terribly tired. I got a large fry and a southwest chicken salad.

In my last blog i mentioned *Hank. I met *hank my freshman year of high school [when i lived in Florida]. We met in gym class and he became my first friend in the class. I thought he was cute but i had SOOOO much boy drama going on. I did like him and i knew he like me but things didn't work out. I stopped talking to him because he wouldn't ask me out. We laugh about it now but it wasn't cool! Its funny how 2, almost 3 years later we still "click". Yes he still has certain quality's that drive me insane but he stills...*Hank. But i do have to admit that i have a bit of uncertainty with us. After years of email, myspace,facebook and texting; How will that translate face-to-face? I'm just worried, its like meeting someone that you met on facebook- its either awkward or amazing. I don't want us to fall between the cracks. He really has been one of the few guys to stick. I like him.

Being blonde I'm blunt with my emotions, i can hide how i feel but not my emotions. Life is hard, growing up is challenging, The journey is worth it, and being blonde is how i ride through it. Cause i am who i am, and i am blonde.

Theres just something bout summer

There's just something about summer

Yesterday i decided to finally be a grown up and tell *him how i felt. "Do what you think is best" What the heck am i suppose to do with that?!?! I'm not saying I'd expect him to burst into tears but dammit, i hoped he would at least make an effort to keep me. I basically told I'm that i don't know if i can trust him but I'm crazy about him and that i don't know what to do. He couldn't even say " you know what heather, i know whats best for you- me". Which means i was right about him. It sucks tho, i think he'll always have my heart. I'll always fall after,and for him. But like a lot of things in summer ;it has to end; at some point you have to set what you want from reality.

It rained again and i have to say Ive been a hater of rain but rain in the summer, is absolute bliss. I feel so drained emotionally and physically. Yoga has been a god send. Finding my center for at least 10 minutes is a total relief.

Like a true blonde, i have many conflicting thoughts. I just cant seem to get this growing up thing right. I may feel like a 40 year old with all this stress but do my actions show the maturity that i envision i do?

I need a good nights rest.

Life may be short but its hard. And this little blonde girl just wants to be home with *hank. Home is Florida and *hank is.... to be continued.....

Dreams [not the aspirating kind]

Dreams [Not the Aspirating Kind]

I couldn't sleep again last night, and i mean i really didn't sleep. Went to "go to" bed at 10:00 PM and didn't actually fall asleep till about 2AM. But when i did sleep i had the most peculiar yet realistic dream. Lately I've been having these dreams. So far they've come true. No I'm not saying I'm psychic but i do think there's something about them. Maybe my subconscious is trying to look out for me.

I hate getting mushy and gushy about my feelings: the simple phrase "I feel...." is much foreign to me. Maybe that's the part where I'm not like a blonde. Most blonde's talk all the time, or don't say a single word; there is no middle ground. I talk a lot but i hate talking about how i really feel. So this should be strange: I feel like my life is out of MY control. I feel like i have no say over MY actions. That is the worst kind of feeling to me. I need to be able to say : "oh i have 30 dollars I'm gonna go buy dog". That's just an example but seriously.

I get it I'm only 17 but how am i suppose to figure out who I'm suppose or want to be when every ones making decisions for me?

The disconcerings of summer

Disconcernings of summer.

Last night i made a plan to get up at 4am to go running. I haven't ran in awhile but i really want to make swim team this year. Unfortunately i was woken up by my cell ringing- AT 11:30 PM!!!! Everyone knows its impolite to call after a certain time, and all my friends know i go to bed early. It was a guy and you know boys cant just call u one once- they have to text you to see why you didn't pick or call u again. Knowing this; i had to take out my battery. So my alarm didn't go off this morning and i couldn't go run. I politely told him not to call me that late. Anyway hahaha, today i did some much needed yoga. Yoga always soothes me. I took some pictures with my sisters camera- okay i took A LOT of pictures with her camera. I wish i had the money for head shots. I'd love to model but everywhere i go they tell me i need money for modeling school. Until i get the funds for that, i just have to hope that some one will stumble upon my blog or my facebook or myspace.

I never realized how much half a cup of coffee could fill you up. Its 1:38 and I'm just beginning to eat my first meal, which is very STRANGE for me. Sesame chicken with wild rice [YUM YUM YUM]

Sometimes being blonde is harder then you'd think. I have to make decisions that i don't know if i can make. How can i trust *him when i did that the first time and got hurt? How can i decide weather its worth risking again?

Does anyone know?

To his stomach

Didn't mama always say "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach"?

Today i ponder this thought with the simple fact that in all modesty, I am an amazing cook and baker. I can cook or bake anything. Which i know being a fast learner and being a blonde is a bit of a contradiction. This year hasn't been the best in the man department. People always say to me: Why are you single? And this is the point where i want to assault them. Why, please tell what the need for that question is [ha ha]. I'm only 17 and that question makes me sound broken. Every year there is an overall tone why things didn't work out. This year was about wanting to be put first. Which i totally understand how hard must be for a guy to actually WANT to be with one person and one only. I was the back-up or the fall back. For a while i didn't think i deserved better. That was just self pity though and I'm disappointed in myself for thinking that way. I just want to be put first, I'm putting my standards aside. How are you supposed to be happy when by limiting yourself- your keeping yourself from happiness. I don't care anymore if hes the hottest, or the most buff or has amazing hair. I'm working on being happy in relationships. I think I'm one of those girls who sabotages relationships subconsciously. I always go after guys that don't live in MD or that i know i cant have. I love being single, i love it. I've always been a humongous flirt and being in a relationship kinda takes that away.Living as a single girl, its easy but when you think about being a taken girl; it depresses you. Being Blonde & single is different then just being single. We're stereotyped as the "bombshell" and when that bombshell is solo- it makes you wonder. We're looked as being the party girl, the ditsy girl, the slutty girl. Why cant we ever be just a girl? You don't have to be older to see that its transparent, to even us 17 year olds.

Precedent Not President

Precedent not President

You ever wake up and you'll be thinking " God,what mess is gonna be thrown my way?". It's only 11 o'clock and the amount of BS I've witness is unreal. But i must confess it is kind of comical. People walking around thinking "Well that was a smart decision, very productive" when most of the UNoblivious people are just like: "No, you're a loser. Get real". Walking is not something i will be participating in today. I could barley sleep last night and i was woken up by a sharp intense pain. I hate being ill. And i say ill because being sick only last for a week- at most. I've been "ill" since i left Florida- in 9Th grade(I'm a junior now!). I know it sounds weird but i really do hope the Doctor diagnoses me. If she came into the room and was all "You have endometresis!" i sware I'd be so stoke. I'm sick and tired with nobody believing that I'm sick. i guess because it's been going on for so long or the fact that my symptoms "change" when in reality there getting worst. Its not in my head, what it is, is unfair. Trust me - if i had it my way I'd be a perfectly healthy young lady. Until that happens I'm gonna grin and bare it. I really do appreciate my mothers help. She has diabetes, newly insulin dependant and through out this whole mess she has pushed forward for me. She has her own health problems but she continues to put me first. My day has been less then productive, again i know its only 11!!!! I woke up and made croissants with strawberry jam [YUM!], now Martha is on my tellie and I'm planning to relax as much as i can. It's suppose to be 90 out, um since when has Maryland ever been warm?? So much on my mind today. My hair feels less blonde hahaha. I sware if my hair isn't the right shade of blonde- i feel incomplete! Like somethings not right, and its not.

My first Blog

My first blog post ever! I guess i should start by explaining a little bit about who i am. My name is Heather and I'm 17 years young. I have a lot of substance to me. I'm loud,wild,free-spirited,smart, moody,obnoxious,confident,unpredictable and blonde. My life is always ostentatious. I have a passion for life, like a hardcore passion for life- which tends to get me in trouble( okay so it ALWAYS gets me trouble). I live in a state that is boring as can be.I love my friends here and my school but it really is the worst place to live. I have many reasons for starting up this blog. The main reason being that I decided i was going to blog my journeys through the last couple months of summer and my last year as being a high school student. This is the long haul, next summer I'll be leaving for college and until then i wanna get the most out of my last year in this stuck-in-the mud town. Everything i do in life is ultimately defined or explained by one word: Blonde. I never realized how much my hair color defined who i was, or every ones perception of who i am. But sure enough after reflecting on a days end i find countless examples that portray Blonde. My life is my world and my world is blonde.

(And as i blog i will be changing names, its only fair and well down right polite)